WASHINGTON—Concluding that the patriotic gesture was a significant drain on the country’s resources, a new report…
CHEYENNE, WY—Noting that the new legislation would go into effect almost immediately, Wyoming officials announced…
NEW YORK—Saying the footage clearly showed the chaos that Democratic leadership had created in cities across the…
WASHINGTON—Having been alive as far back as 1933, Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, a trailblazer in being old,…
Dianne Feinstein, who served as a senator of California since 1992, died Thursday night at the age of 90. The Onion …
WASHINGTON—Unveiling a commemorative series created in honor of the nation’s most renowned pedophiles, the U.S. Mint…
MONROVIA, CA—Announcing that renovations had been made to all 560 locations, grocery chain Trader Joe’s confirmed…
Following the 11th instance in which President Joe Biden’s younger dog nipped at member of the federal law…
SAN ANTONIO, TX—Claiming that the Army private looks for any opportunity to mention the sweets, sources confirmed …
SAN FRANCISCO—Claiming the plan would ensure benefits went toward those who truly needed them, a new proposal by San…
AUSTIN, TX—Ascribing the decision to prioritizing the safety of the chain’s employees and customers, grocery…
Thousands of United Auto Workers members have walked off the job since the union initiated its strike on Sept. 15. Th…
CLEVELAND—Debuting what the company described as a completely-new way to enjoy the brand’s signature boxed dinners,…
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) has pleaded “not guilty” to sweeping federal charges that accuse him of accepting hundreds…
WASHINGTON—Delivering a jubilant address to the American people, a triumphant President Joe Biden announced…
A recent study found that the average age for new American parents is up to 26 for mothers and 31 for fathers, both…
WASHINGTON—In a finding that sheds light on the particular concerns and interests of the Founding Fathers, …
NEW YORK—TikTok has reportedly generated support and approval this week with its feel-good new ad campaign featuring…
LOS ANGELES—Meagerly rattling a tin cup at pedestrians rushing past him on Sunset Boulevard, the penniless and…
TikTok, a wildly popular video-sharing app, has come under fire for being owned by a large Chinese company and for…