Georgia Republicans are furious after Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis indicted former President Donald Trump for his attempts to overturn the 2020 election. The Onion asked conservatives why Willis deserves to be impeached, and this is what they said.
“Not me. My vote was for assassination.”
“If you give me, like, five minutes, I’m sure I can connect this to Hunter Biden.”
“Do you have any idea how many people we could have incarcerated for marijuana possession with all the taxpayer money Willis is wasting on this farce?”
“Let’s see how she likes being deliberated on by a committee with no meaningful outcome.”
“I’m mainly making a big deal out of this in the hopes that we can storm something again.”
“I am so far down the cognitive dissonance hole that I’m terrified of thinking about why I want things.”
“She won’t have any empathy for Trump until she gets impeached like he has.”
“I believe that everyone should be impeached at least once in their lives.”
“If you replace all the letters in her name, it spells Satan.”
“The Fulton County Jail has been the site of five deaths in just over a month, but other than that she’s done nothing good.”
“If America didn’t want white state officials to nullify the democratic will of Black voters, then they should have done a better job with Reconstruction.”
“RICO laws were only ever intended to be used on Italians.”
“The district attorney is only doing this because she’s angry that she had to win her own election fair and square.”
“I’d rather execute her, but since we’re still a democracy, I’ll work through my elected representatives first.”
“She didn’t do anything illegal, which is the perfect reason to impeach.”
“Donald Trump isn’t capable of doing wrong, which is why we have to do his dirty work for him.”
“If we are going to punish those who break the law, it’s only fair that we punish those who uphold it.”